just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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