ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
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