real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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