We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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