i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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