Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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