spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have fence marks all over my body
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
