It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
