We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
