i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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