i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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