If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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