erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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