Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
well you can't waste a boner
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
