They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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