So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
