My brain says no but my pants say off.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
