I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My dick has a subreddit
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
