Me too!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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