Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
