I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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