I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
