I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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