he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
