if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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