Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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