Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
