never play flip cup with pint glasses
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
home. puking in laundry basket.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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