I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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