you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
