Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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