i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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