Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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