Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
