Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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