my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
3 2 1 whiskey
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
