Need sex. Gaining weight.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
