***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
