Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
