why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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