marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
