It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Sorry about my life...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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