tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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