just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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