i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
