Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I smell stomach acid.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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