People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize