does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
