You're my little dorito
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Bring me that man meat
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
