One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
